My Lunch Date with God and Cate

I am not going to lie the past couple of days have been unbearable.  I've felt as if I was drowning in grief.  I know that its not my time and that I have to let go but it still doesn't make it any better.  With the holidays I was easily distracted.   I knew the next couple of weeks would test my faith and HOPE.  Her due date is coming up and the friends I shared pregnancy with would soon be bringing their babies home while mine is already home in heaven.  Today was the worse though.  I could not make it through work and had to leave early but someone was urging me to go visit her gravesite.  I hadn't been there in awhile and I guess this was my hint to go.  So I stopped picked up lunch, roses,a balloon, my fleece blanket and my Bible and went and had lunch with my daughter. I wanted to go  just to feel close to her even though I know shes not there.  But I ended up having a one-sided converstation with God and pretty much cried for 2 1/2 hours (time flies when I am up there) and just when I thought I couldn't be consoled my awesome, wonderful Counselor showed me differently.  I was reading the story of Solomon asking God for wisdom and God not only blessed him with wisdom but the all the things he hadn't asked just because he didn't ask for wealth or defeating his enemies after I was finished I just laid my my Bible on the blanket and was just still staring into the heavens.  I was praying so hard and with all my hearts desire for him to lead me on HIS path.   I felt the cool wind pick up alittle and I heard the pages of the Bible blowing in the wind.  It was a beautiful, serene site.     I sat in amazement when I looked down and the wind had blown the pages to a highlighted part of my Bible:  Jeremiah 29:11   For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.  WOW!   There is no other Counselor that can give you that much HOPE. 
I guess all I needed was just to be still and know that God is who he says he is and that he always remains the same in the good and most importantly in the bad.  I need to start having more lunchdates with him and only him.  Why won't you join me and spend time with just him?

P.S. I don't do this often, actually not at all but if you don't care please send an extra prayer up for me, so that I may gain the wisdom to be able to trust in God's will and see what he sees.  Thank you with all my love and HOPE.