It's been a month today that my angel gained her wings. It's hard to believe how fast time has passed. My life has changed so much in a month and it feels like I have a new life and honestly I do. I am trying to live of course more HOPEful and less fearful. It is so very hard to live that way but ultimately God is in control. But I want you to remember my baby with me. God blessed me with the role of mother and that I did, give birth to not only one baby but two babies. When you mention Cate, it is healing. If I cry, if I smile, however I respond it is healing. When you talk to me about Cate, you are giving me something back. I am heartbroken and forever changed because I am missing out on so many things with my angel but now she's is in a much better place and wouldn't want to come back. One thing my mom said that I will never forget is "while you may be upset now and you won't get to experience earthly things with her now, eternity is a much longer time than earthly time." I am thankful for the life of my child, however brief and now she lives eternal with God. I am humbly grateful for the things I have learned through this experience. Today while trying to remain hopeful its hard. I never prayed, dreamed, wished that the circumstances are what they are now but they are and I have no other choice. But what if we did live our life without fears and worries? What if we honestly knew that everything was going to be ok, whether for the good or the bad? Could you imagine how much better our lives would be? So today by helping me honor God and my Cate, live without a worry and know that everything WILL be ok!
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